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Submitted by angelito voiceover: ladies & gentlemen! please, welcome ellen degeneres ellen: alright thanks \???\ thank you very much \several times\ well, thanks, what a lovely way to start work, thank you very much i encourage you to do that for your co-workers next time they walk-in to work give 'em that, because its a lovely way to start your job thank you so much what's great about this, ya know, you think about you have a room full of people everybody is so different and we're all here for different reasons everybody has a different stories, some people are long-time fans and bought their tickets today, they went on sale and I'm always appreciative their they are five of 'em and look at the seats they get that's a shame some of you had to get baby sitters especially if you had kids some people maybe you're in a bad mood maybe you had a fight with your boyfriend, or your girlfriend, or your husband, or your wife, or your lover, or your partner, or your roommate, your, your... niece the point is, you're in a bad mood now i'm gonna have to work even harder to make you laugh, all because you have to have things your way and you won't backdown but, that's alright because we're all here and with all of our differences we all have one thing in common we're all gay now there are people out there goin' "do they'll think we're gay because we're here?" "do we look gay?" "I told you that's what happen we're not gonna understand the word of this!" no, that's, that's my one obligatory gay reference i have to say somethin' gay otherwise, some people might leave here tonight goin' "she didn't do anything gay, she's not our leader, what happend to our leader!" seriously, \???\ you probably gay you have tendencies, you've thought about it now there are people gonna "i have thought about it" "is that mean i'm gay?" "i'm not gay!" "is that how they get us?" no, i think the one thing we all have in common is that we all wanna laugh and that is a beautiful thing so... i'm stalling, i am, i'm, i'm had a problem with procrastination and i'm suppose to start a show and I'm not so, a this procrastination thing whenever there's something I'm suppose to do i'll do anything other than the one thing i'm suppose to do and then i feel bad about myself and then i get depressed and i really don't get anything done because i'm depressed and i told a friend of mine about this problem and she said "you should go to theraphy" and i thought about it \???\ wait a minute! why? should i pay a stranger to listen to me talk when i can get stranger to pay, listen to me talk so, that's when i came up with the idea of touring and, i thought now i have to write a show so, i thought what do i wanna say? what do i wanna talk about? so, i sat down on my desk and i was stand at my desk and i thought "wow that's dusty" i can't write with my deskal dusty like this so, i went downstairs to get a rug and am on the way downstairs my kitten was on the stairway playin' with the piece of dust or somethin' and a, and i went to a \stutter for a sec\ 'coz they did the thing where they roll 'em back and show you the belly and got a word for that, you can't pass that up so, i sat down \???\ on the cat for about I don't know 45 minutes something like that and, then i went downstairs and by that time i forgot why went i downstairs and i was standin' around tryin' to remember, and thought! "i should paint this room" "i wonder what color what this is?" "it look's like a white, but i'm sure there's some fancy name for it" always people, what kind of job is that? to come up with a name for paint colors, you know all different color white's like egg shell, or linen, or lilly, or off all the different ones, ya know and i thought maybe yellow, ya know canary, or banana, or smoker's teeth ya know, something that would be i thought i've gotta write so, maybe if i put music on it be more inspiring so, went over to cabinet where i kept all my cd's you shouldn't seen that thing "total disarray" just off, everything, meatloaf was next to the cranberries which i thought it'll be funny one night to organize it by food when I was drunk really nothin' else was in there, except bread and a, just all kinds of \sudden change of word\ let the doors and the carpenters and nine inch nails were together and that done help anything so... a, i've gotta organize these i can't put this off and so i'm settin' in a hundred of cd's and the phone rung and it was a friend of mine i said "i can't talk, i'm writing" and so, she said "i can't believe you, you so disciplined i have such a problem with procrastination" and i said "we should go lunch and talk about that"

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By Mouyet Sihem:

ladies and gentlemen please welcome Helen DeGeneres. All right, Thanks ahh thank you very much Thank you thank you thank you very much well thanks
what a lovely way to start work thank you very much i encourage you to do that with your co workers next time they are working at work give them that cause it's a lovely way to start your job thank you so much .what 's great about this you you know you think about ever room full of people everybody is so different and we are all here for different reasons everybody has a different story some peoplethere are five of them look at the seats they got it's a shame some of have may be you have a fight with your boy friend partner your husband with with all those differences we all have something in common we are all gay ther e are people do we look gay they think we arthat is my
She is not a leader what happened to our leader
I am not gay
the think we have in common is that we all wanna to laugh
I don't know 45 minutes something like that
and, then i went downstairs and by that time i forgot
why went i downstairs
and i was standin' around tryin' to remember,
and thought! "i should paint this room"
"i wonder what color what this is?

 Rate this transcript.

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By Mouyet Sihem:

ladies and gentlemen please welcome Hellen DeGeneres
alright thanks ha thank you very much th

 Rate this transcript.

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By angelito:

voiceover:

ladies & gentlemen!
please, welcome ellen degeneres


ellen:

alright thanks
\???\
thank you very much \several times\

well, thanks,
what a lovely way to start work,
thank you very much
i encourage you to do that for your co-workers
next time they walk-in to work
give 'em that, because its a lovely way to start your job
thank you so much

what's great about this,
ya know, you think about you have a room full of people
everybody is so different and we're all here for different reasons
everybody has a different stories,
some people are long-time fans
and bought their tickets today, they went on sale
and I'm always appreciative
their they are five of 'em and
look at the seats they get that's a shame

some of you had to get baby sitters
especially if you had kids
some people maybe you're in a bad mood
maybe you had a fight with your boyfriend, or your girlfriend,
or your husband, or your wife, or your lover,
or your partner, or your roommate,
your, your... niece

the point is, you're in a bad mood
now i'm gonna have to work even harder
to make you laugh, all because you have to have things your way
and you won't backdown
but, that's alright
because we're all here and with all of our differences
we all have one thing in common
we're all gay

now there are people out there goin'
"do they'll think we're gay because we're here?"
"do we look gay?"
"I told you that's what happen we're not gonna understand the word of this!"

no, that's, that's my one obligatory gay reference
i have to say somethin' gay otherwise, some people might leave here tonight
goin' "she didn't do anything gay, she's not our leader, what happend to our leader!"

seriously, \???\ you probably gay
you have tendencies, you've thought about it
now there are people gonna
"i have thought about it"
"is that mean i'm gay?"
"i'm not gay!"
"is that how they get us?"

no, i think the one thing we all have in common is that
we all wanna laugh and that is a beautiful thing

so...

i'm stalling, i am, i'm, i'm had a problem with procrastination
and i'm suppose to start a show and I'm not

so, a this procrastination thing
whenever there's something I'm suppose to do
i'll do anything other than the one thing i'm suppose to do
and then i feel bad about myself
and then i get depressed
and i really don't get anything done because i'm depressed
and i told a friend of mine about this problem
and she said "you should go to theraphy"
and i thought about it \???\
wait a minute!
why? should i pay a stranger to listen to me talk
when i can get stranger to pay, listen to me talk

so, that's when i came up with the idea of touring
and, i thought now i have to write a show
so, i thought what do i wanna say?
what do i wanna talk about?

so, i sat down on my desk
and i was stand at my desk and i thought
"wow that's dusty"

i can't write with my deskal dusty like this
so, i went downstairs to get a rug
and am on the way downstairs my kitten
was on the stairway playin' with the piece of dust or somethin'
and a, and i went to a \stutter for a sec\
'coz they did the thing where they roll 'em back
and show you the belly
and got a word for that, you can't pass that up
so, i sat down \???\ on the cat for about
I don't know 45 minutes something like that
and, then i went downstairs and by that time i forgot
why went i downstairs
and i was standin' around tryin' to remember,
and thought! "i should paint this room"
"i wonder what color what this is?"
"it look's like a white, but i'm sure there's some fancy name for it"
always people, what kind of job is that?
to come up with a name for paint colors, you know
all different color white's like egg shell, or linen, or lilly, or off
all the different ones, ya know
and i thought maybe yellow, ya know
canary, or banana, or smoker's teeth
ya know, something that would be

i thought i've gotta write
so, maybe if i put music on it be more inspiring
so, went over to cabinet where i kept all my cd's
you shouldn't seen that thing "total disarray"
just off, everything,
meatloaf was next to the cranberries
which i thought it'll be funny one night to organize it by food
when I was drunk
really nothin' else was in there, except bread
and a, just all kinds of \sudden change of word\
let the doors and the carpenters and nine inch nails were together
and that done help anything
so...
a, i've gotta organize these i can't put this off
and so i'm settin' in a hundred of cd's
and the phone rung and it was a friend of mine
i said "i can't talk, i'm writing"
and so, she said "i can't believe you, you so disciplined
i have such a problem with procrastination"
and i said "we should go lunch and talk about that"

 Rate this transcript.

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